Reciprocal vs Regenerative

Business and Relational Consciousness

Photo by Worachat Sodsri on Unsplash

What if you and I were fish? What if we recognized each other as fish? What if we knew we were swimming in water? Would it change the way we move together?

Recently I was in a collective leadership training where the following questions were posed:

• What does Reciprocity mean?

• What does Regenerative mean?

• What’s the difference?

I salivated.

Yes. I love this shit! Yummy yummy. I love this because I get to swim in Relational Finance everyday with my clients. We get to play with these ideas and filter them through our gills as they nourish our bodies and our environments. I also love questions like these because I often find that my internal definitions of words are experientially different from the dictionary or other people. Having different experiences of words than other people has have gotten me into so many misunderstandings, so any time I have the opportunity to co-define words with people, the process is particularly healing to me. (Oh hi there dear Gemini Chiron…I see you.) So let’s get in this together - RIGHT NOW.

Reciprocity

Reciprocity is 2-dimensional. Equal, often immediate exchange. I gave, you now give. I receive, now you receive. We’ve all felt and seen the relational propaganda:

“Buy this item to receive happiness!”

“Marry a partner who gives you everything you want in life! If they don’t constantly give you what you want, dump them!”

“You receive money in equal measure to your vibrational consciousness, so if you’re poor, you’re not in alignment” (or whatever other spiritually bypassing nonsense other Financial Wellness coaches fling around)

Reciprocity is important. There’s nothing bad about wanting to get back what you give. We all need that sometimes. True reciprocity itself though, is incredibly rare.

Let’s be fish again. When you imagine us as fish, are we the same fish? I see us as different fish with different needs, movement patterns, capacities, and ways to contribute to our environment. Those differences mean that we likely won’t be as capable of true, immediate, equal exchange and could create space for resentment if we’re expecting the other to be like us. It can happen, but it’s rare.

If you imagined us as the same fish, then we could achieve reciprocity more often! We have the same needs, environment, and expectations. We speak the same language and have the same values, gifts and capacities. Neat! But what happens if we need something neither of us can provide? Uh oh. There’s a bit of a half life here, that’s not sustainable.

Seeking only Reciprocity keeps us in a state of shock, insecurity, and scarcity and can lead to unstable, chaotic attachments to money, time, resources, and relationships. It also keep us still and unable to grow. Reciprocity is NECESSARY for survival and also limits our expansion into abundant living.

Regeneration

Abundant living, Regeneration, is 3-dimensional. There’s you, me, and the relational space between/around us. If we’re fish: I’m consciously fishy me, you’re consciously